Adelie Penguins

They don't have the exotic touch of the Macaroni's and Rockhopper's hairs. They lack the colorful throat patch of the King and emperor. Some even describe their appearance as comical. They walk awkwardly with their tuxedo shirt front and white ring around their eyes.

But there's one thing that makes them different, they spend their lives looking for that one other penguin, and if they found that one, they're going to be with each other for the rest of their lives. And even if they may lose each other temporarily in the hustle and bustle of swimming back to the ocean, come mating time, they'll find each other on the nest they built.

Dust-gatherer

A teddy bear is just a silent witness...

It can't hug you back when you hug it. It can't hold you when you need someone's touch the most. It can't comfort you when you're crying. It can't give explanations nor excuses about the actions of its giver. It can only stare at you blankly and remind you of your foolishness in believing on the promises that came with that bear. It just sits there, gathering dust.

Monkey Bars

You won't be able to get to the end if you won't let go of the previous bar you're holding on to. You have to let go so that you can move forward. But why are you so scared of reaching out to the next bar and letting your hand slip away from the former?

You'll be hanging there and going nowhere if you keep on insisting on holding on to that rusty, old bar whose paint had chipped away.

You should swing your body forward, hold on to the next bar and finally release the previous one.

Rollercoaster

You asked me to take a ride... I'm afraid of heights. I hesitate. You tell me it's safe, but the thought of falling is always on my mind.

But I trusted you. I believed in you. I rode. It's scary, but fun at the same time. This is something I have not done before. It's disorienting. But I thought it's worth it.

You asked me for another ride and I did took another and another. I enjoyed the moments and took note of the ups and downs, the twists and turns. But along with the moments of happiness is the feeling of being helpless. I'm strapped to a seat and my movements are limited. I'm just a passive receiver of whatever happens.

Yes, it's exciting, but I'm not sure if I can take another ride. It's nauseating...

The Door

The Door

I've closed the door
Locked it
Thrown away the key

Inside
I try to pick up the pieces
Of my shattered dreams

I'm left with mending my life

Making new plans
Learning to dream again

I hear noise
Coming from the other side
Of that closed door

You do not knock
But you make your presence known
You're outside

But the door is locked
And i can't open it for you
I've thrown the key

How long you'll wait
I do not know
I simply remain inside

If you do want to enter once more
Just find the key
Lying in oblivion

If you dare not
I'll remain inside
Until someone else finds it

Love & The Science Behind My Giving Up

"Love is a scientific reaction. It's the dopamine secreted by your brain."

Chocolates have the same effect, and I think I should stick to them instead.

"To say that you've got one soul mate in the world out of six billion people, mathematically that's setting yourself up for failure."

I'm so tired of the crazy things I did and got into. I'm tired of all the temporary highs and short-lived stints. I need someone to fill up this empty space in me. But it's just so difficult to happen since I have all these strings dangling and attached to me, and since it just so happens that most of the good men are taken and that those whom I attract just so happen to not like me enough to leave whoever they're with currently. The emptiness isn't growing, but it's hard to ignore. I need to ignore it to survive because I can't hold on to the idea that somewhere out there is someone meant just for me.

Thing Is...

Thing is I'm still in love with you. I know it had been years, but the years did not wash these feelings. Life did not erase what love I had. Life might have changed it, but it did not make me lose it.

I look for you in every relationship that I had. Even if I didn't want to, there was always a comparison that I made.

I know that we're not going back together, not now, not ever. But will I ever stop loving you? Maybe not now, maybe not ever...

Missed Chance

I think a lot of people deemed me stupid because of what I had done with regards to you. Once in a while, it crosses my mind how I did not give myself the chance to know you better before I decided with finality that you will not be special to me. When you had given up on me and I had known you more, that's when I realized that maybe you could have had a chance after all.

I did not expect that you will show me that special attention when there were a lot of other girls around you who craved for it. I got scared and I did not want any more complications because I was already entangled in many. Looking back, if I actually gave you the chance and if I had been with you, everything would have been a lot less complicated.

But sometimes you can't tell your heart whom to choose. Even if the world actually thought that I would have been better off with you. The thing is, I still chose something that I cannot fully have.

You were the first person who told me, straight to my face, that I was in love with him. You had told me time and time again to let go because I'm just putting myself in a hopeless situation. I'm sorry that I'm simply a stubborn girl who refused to listen.

I just wish that you had already forgotten that time that you felt something for me. I do not want to know that it actually pains you every time you see me cry because of him. The last thing I need right now is to know that I'd hurt you and I'm hurting you still.

Wreck

I'm impatient.
I'm too pessimistic.
I'm damn idealistic.

I fall too hard.
I don't know how to let go.
I'm in love with being in love.

I'm a sucker for romance.
I believe in fairytales and happy endings.
I just don't think they're applicable to me.

I'm as alone as a Hydrogen atom.
I'm as reactive as Francium.
I'm as negative as an Oxygen ion.

I talk a lot.
I laugh out loud.
I cry too much.

I'm utterly imperfect.
I'm a trainwreck.
I'm irreparably broken.

And the truth is I'm not looking for someone to fix me
Because I don't want to be fixed
This is me.
You either hate me or love me.